Queen Títíloyè Àbẹ̀kẹ́ - My Grandmother

https://expressyourselfne.com/2023/02/09/victorias-story/

Here is the tribute i wrote for her funeral

This tribute is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, I can’t possibly do it well enough even if I have another year to prepare. This is not just any grandma o! Iya alate was one of my closest friends – she was kind, reliable, fun, witty, intelligent, cheeky! she was a legend, a queen, larger than life, the best!! When some people heard my grandmother had died, their first question was “how old was she?” followed by the look of relief and often followed by statements with the intention (I assume) of comforting me with information that she did not die young. That hurts me because she wasn’t old enough to die to me. Gosh, the longer someone lives, the longer you have had the chance to get use to life with them in it, so this is a no brainer – my heart is broken. I’m not sure I’ve felt sincerely happy since she left, but I do find joy in knowing I will see her again someday. “L’ayo la rira o” (may we see each other again with joy) that’s what you always said. “M’on re ti re o” (I am expecting you). I finally came, and you were gone. Iya alate onijogbon! I miss you so much it hurts! Not just because you are dead and gone here on earth but because we didn’t finish our conversation. Iya Alate Alice in Aremo Títíloyè Onijogbon, Ayoka is here thanking you oh! Thank you for being a rock, ah you were so reliable and consistent. A truly loving grandmother who was intentional in showing how much you cared. Who will sing my song the way you do now? who will I fuss at and do shakara for? Who will do ijobgbon for me? Who will give me gist? But all in all, we thank God! Your confidence was inspiring, and you were free enough to express all your emotions when you felt them even displeasure. This has given me permission to sit in the sadness of losing you despite knowing how happy you always wanted me to be. I know you will be happy I miss you like this sha; and now I must celebrate your life like you wanted - everyone I know will know you existed. Victoria Ayoka